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The above is a just a gimmick. Whenever you see the above gimmick, you will know that important Jokeline information will follow. This is just a gimmick brought to you by the Emergency Jokeline Broadcast System.
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This issue is very important for all Jokeliners:
Last night, 26 hours ago, the second Jokeline Summit came to pass in Belmont, Massachusetts. The first was in Washington, DC in February. 11 jokeliners were present and serious joke material was discussed.
On the eve of the 50th edition of Jokeline, binding together over 90 Jokeliners from 4 continents and 3 extra-terrestrial systems, the time has come to look back and look ahead to the future of Jokeline.
When the great Jokeline bell rang out at 9:47 pm, Jokeliners of various accents came together to discuss for the first time, in flesh and physical face, crucial humor issues of the day. The group kicked off the meeting by setting the tone: we agreed that, indeed, invention was the mother of all incest.
Here are the seconds of the meeting.
1. Logo Suggestions: Now that Jokeline has a web page and that the Jokeline Marketing Department has thought about bringing some aspects of Jokeline into the physical world such as T-shirts and physical prizes for JL contests, JL needs a logo. Several people thought that a wide-grinned image of Jon Kohl with enlarged ears would be appropriate. The vocal observer and soon-2-b jokeliner, Joyce Connery, offered
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The Jokeline Graphics Department is working day and night to perfect this concept.
2. Notes on Good and Bad.
Good: Jokeline keeps its basis and subsistence in tying jokes in timely news events. Another JLer liked the commentary that the JM offers on news issues. That JL cut its length to less than 11,500 characters (current size) was a good idea and no one seems to think JL is too long now.
Bad: Jokeline has too much text (that Jokeliner was sacked). There are still too many geographical and institutional references that people cannot understand. JM said that new proofreaders are being hired to avoid regionalism (for example, one proofreader pointed out that today's lead gimmick was a reference to the American national radio emergency broadcast system). JM himself pointed out that there wasn't enough participation from Jokeliners.
One Jokeliner pointed out that when he began subscribing he didn't realize that feedback and contributions were desired. He thought a structure had already been established. JM reiterated that Jokeline at its core should be a community-produced publication, creating a virtual community of readers tied into the JM. Thus we discussed methods of promoting JLer participation.
3. JLer participation. Generally pleas for audience contribution rarely leads to contributions. Laziness was cited as a prime ingredient mixed with a subtle dash of anonymity. Thus the summit agreed that JM should call on specific individuals to produce specific pieces needed and that as members of the exclusive Jokeline club, Jlers should respond in kind.
Another Jokeliner suggested Jokeline should have contests with real prizes. Summit participants generally agreed that e-mailing checks as prizes was inappropriate. Jokeline will thus be soliciting real prizes that can be sent via snail mail and contest subject suggestions included riddles or poems. If anyone has a prize they would like to donate to Jokeline for such a contest let the JM know.
Another proposed the idea of pitting Jokeliners against each other. He did not clarify whether he meant sumo matches or intellectual debates. Nonetheless, if any Jokeliner has a fight to pick with another Jokeliner, do let the Jokeline staff know about it and maybe we can exacerbate the fight across the internet.
Other ideas included profiles of Jokeliners every issue and humorous real-life anecdotes of Jokeliners. We agreed that funny (and stupid things) happen to each of us all the time. Real life was better than jokes that come across the internet and used in Jokeline. So send in your real life anecdotes.
For example last night, around mid-night, a car full of Jokeliners driven by Andrew Smith followed Jokeliner Sarah Jennings in her car. Since it was late and none in Andrew's car knew their destination (to sleep for the night), they had to follow Sarah closely. The followed so closely that, while leaving Cambridge, they followed her right through a red light. No witnesses were reported.
We had a brief brainsprinkle of future Jokeline theme ideas. One would be an issue on Jon Kohl. If you have any dirt or humor about things that have happened with or to Jon Kohl, send them in. One Jokeliner cited an embarrassing moment in the summer of 1987 when Kohl accidentally ran off the edge of a wall, falling 15 feet to his death. Well, near death. Actually he wasn't hurt, but very surprised. Other theme ideas will remain top secret.
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Summit participants wrote an essay on the importance of Jokeliners binding together to form a virtual community. Each member wrote one or two sentences. There was neither pre-planning nor post-editing. This is pure masterful literature you are about to read, written by your fellow Jokeliners.
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HUMOR is the force that brings all Jokeliners together. Without humor, hey, we'd never laugh! You could say it's the duct tape that gags and binds us all. It's the super glue, the honey, and paper machete glue of Life. It makes you embarrassed. Makes you blush like hot spicy food from Honduras. Or bland food on a hot day!
But, hey, if you take all the ingredients mentioned above you have the basis to cause a massive case of indigestion or the material to build a place we can all share (with super glue and duct tape you can build anything). Duck tape -- that's the best way to fix a broken duck because duck doctors are just quacks. And Jokeline has been on the pond for nearly a year and a half!
=ATTENDANCE=
Authors and Jokeliners in attendance (not including the Jokemaster): Andrew Smith, Og, Sarah Jennings, Jon Kohl, Jon Douglas, Weina Jiang, Athos G., David Hymes, Jennifer Duest, Jay McGaffigan, and Darcy Jameson. Two new Jokeliners were recruited from the observer pool: Joyce Connery and Ajit Pai. The Boyz Upstairs could not attend due to technical difficulties.
=Jokeliner Photos=
In the spirit of forming a virtual Jokeliner community, Summit Participants voted in favor of Jokeline Resolution R2346064338X-5sffff35-XOXOXX-21-6-1997 which states that faces of all Jokeliners shall be placed on the Jokeline Web Site to promote and accentuate appropriate Jokeliner interaction and adulation.
This means that starting with the official Summit Portraiture which will be placed on the Web Site, all Jokeliners are requested to send in a photo of themselves to
Andrew Smith, Acting JokeWebmaster (andrew.smith@yale.edu)
420 Temple Street, #503
New Haven, CT 06511 USA
This is no joke, please send in a photo that preferably does not need to be returned. After being scanned they will be forwarded to the new Jokeline headquarters in La Ceiba, Honduras which will open in July. Inquires into this translocation can be sent to the Jokemaster (jokeline@chloe.hgs.yale.edu).
Also please note the refined Jokeline Web address where all back issues and future photos will be located: http://chloe.hgs.yale.edu/jokeline
Thanks once again to Og needs to be aired for the kind use of his supercomputer where Jokeline currently resides.
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BINDING
Since the theme of the soon to be called Belmont Summit was binding and how to bind together Jokeliners from around the world, we will end the 50th edition of Jokeline with a submission from Jokeliner Tom Husted (Tkhusted@aol.com), our second most northerly Jokeliner after Canadian Jokeliner Terry Groh.
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Biomolecular BINDING
1. I've been single-stranded too long! Lonely ATGCATG would like to pair up with congenial TACGTAC
2. Menage a trois! Ligand seeks two receptors into binding and mutual phosphorylation. Let's get together and transduce some signals.
3. Some dates have called me a promotor. Others have referred to me as a real operator. Personally, I think I'm just a cute piece of DNA who is still looking for that special transcription factor to help me unwind.
4. Highly sensitive, orally active small molecule seeks stable, well-structured receptor who knows size isn't everything.
5. There must be a rational way to meet a date! I'm tired of hanging out in those molecular diversity bars, hoping to randomly bump into the right peptide. I want a molecule that will fit right into my active site and really turn me on. I'll send you my crystal structure if you'll send me yours!
6. Gene therapy graduate. After years of producing nothing but gibberish, I've shed my exons and am ready to express my introns. All I need is a cute vector to introduce me to the right host.
7. My RNA, I'm sorry I misread your UAAUAAUAA and inserted three tyrosines when you repeatedly asked me to stop. Something got lost in the translation. Please forgive me.
8. Naked DNA with sticky ends seeks kanamycin-resistant plasmid. EcoR1 sites preferred.
9. Uninhibited virus seeks reason to make me shed my coat protein.
10. This very selective oligonucleotide has been probing for just the right target for long term hybridization.
11. Mature cell seeks same who still enjoys cycling and won't go apoptotic on me. Let's fight senescence together!
12. I'm a prolific progenitor with great potential for growth and self-renewal. Call me if you're a potent hematopoietic factor who still believes in endless nights of colony stimulation.
13. I don't always express myself on the surface, but I'm looking for a signal that will appreciate my complexity. Send me the right message and you'll penetrate my membranes, turn on my protein expression, and release my potential energy.
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Jokemaster
http://chloe.hgs.yale.edu/jokeline
Posted from Foxborough, Massachusetts