Date: Mon, 18 Mar 1996 17:17:00 -0500 (EST)
From: Jon Kohl To: joke -- 105cc -- Jeff Bird Dan Petit Peter DeBalli Alejandra Zuniga Andy Wellnitz Annie Lovejoy Audrey Benison Bronson Griscom <74163.661@CompuServe.COM>, burch -- Bill Martin Erin McKenna Chris Page Tom Pokalski "Claire R. Schuster" Cynthia H Chalker Darcy Jameson JENNIFER R HULFORD JAY MCGAFFIGAN Jen Silverman john Santamaria Jose A Guerra Kevin Harmon kohl -- Brian Kohl "A. Peter Kohl" Lesley Barnhorn Marsha Sitnik Mike Smith Miles Smith <74364.2077@compuserve.com>, Patrick Earle Quint Newcomer Rachel Johnson Tim Robinson Sean Andrish Shannon Ammerman Tim Cronen Tony Hartshorn Jennifer Weber Yura Vracko Yvonne Cheng Subject: Jokeline #2 Hello Jokeliners! We lost one, gained two, and no one else commented. So that's good! Since I've secretly deleted all the supermodels from the mailing list for this Jokeline edition, I feel relatively safe in bestowing upon all you kind readers a glimpse into the inner intellectual life of some of the fashion industry's most beautiful women. And since I forgot who submitted this piece, I'm not going to credit you! Jokemaster ON COURAGE "They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind." --Cindy Crawford ON SELF KNOWLEDGE "Everywhere I went, my cleavage followed. But I learned I am not my cleavage." --Carole Mallory ON POVERTY "Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery." --Beverly Johnson ON FATE "I wish my butt did not go sideways, but I guess I have to face that." --Christie Brinkley ON PSYCHOLOGY "I loved making 'Rising Sun'. I got into the psychology of why she liked to get strangled and tied up in plastic bags. It has to do with low self-worth." --Tatjana Patitz ON ARRIVING "Because modeling is lucrative, I'm able to save up and be more particular about the acting roles I take." --Kathy Ireland, star of "Alien From L.A." and "Danger Island" ON CAREER CHOICES "My boyfriend thinks I lost my true calling to be a librarian." --Paulina Porizkova ON PRIORITIES "I would rather exercise than read a newspaper" --Kim Alexis ON GEOPOLITICS "Mick Jagger and I just really liked each other a lot. We talked all night. We had the same views on nuclear disarmament." --Jerry Hall ON INNER STRENGTH "I love the confidence that makeup gives me." --Tyra Banks ON DEATH "Richard doesn't really like me to kill bugs, but sometimes I can't help it." --Cindy Crawford ON TRAVEL "I haven't seen the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, the Louvre. I haven't seen anything. I don't really care." --Tyra Banks ON BREAKTHROUGHS "Once I got past my anger toward my mother, I began to excel in volleyball and modeling." --Gabrielle Reece ON EPIPHANY "I just found out that I'm one inch taller than I thought." ON HEREDITY "My husband was just OK looking. I was in labor and I said to him, 'What if she's ugly? You're ugly." --Beverly Johnson ON INTRODUCTIONS "I think most people are curious about what it would be like to be able to meet yourself--it's eerie." --Christy Turlington ON THE BASICS "It's very important to have the right clothing to exercise in. If you throw on an old t-shirt or sweats, it's not inspiring for your workout." --Cheryl Tiegs ON COURTSHIP "The soundtrack to 'Indecent Exposure' is a romantic mix of music that I know most women love to hear, so I never keep it far from me when women are nearby." --Fabio ON PARADOX "Sometimes I get lonely, but it's nice to be alone." --Tatjana Patitz ON OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS "I tried on 250 bathing suits in one afternoon and ended up having little scabs up and down my things, probably from some of those with sequins all over them." --Cindy Crawford ON ECONOMICS "I don't wake up for less than $10,000 a day." --Linda Evangelista ON TRAGEDY "The worst was when my skirt fell down to my ankles--but I had on thick tights underneath." --Naomi Campbell ON INSTINCT "If I'm making a movie and get hungry, I call time-out and eat some crackers." --Carol Alt ON ZEN "When I model, I'm pretty blank. You can't think too much or it doesn't work." --Paulina Porizkova ON LOGIC "I think, if my butt's not too big for them to be photographing it, then it shouldn't be too big for me." --Christy Turlington ON BODY PARTS "I don't know what to do with my arms. It just makes me feel weird and I feel like people are looking at me and that makes me nervous." --Tyra Banks ON DEPRIVATION "If they had Nautilus on the Concorde, I would work out all the time." --Linda Evangelista ON MOTIVATION "It was kind of boring for me to have to eat. I would know that I had to and I would." --Kate Moss ON VERSATILITY "I can do anything you want me to do so long as I don't have to speak." --Linda Evangelista ON VENGEANCE "Girls are always getting mad at each other and they tell their hairdresser to purposely mess up another girl's hair." --Tasha ***************************************************************** Jon Kohl Yale School of Forestry & 420 Temple St. #501 Environmental Studies New Haven, CT 06511 Tel: 203-436-2131 USA Fax: 203-432-5942 http://www.yale.edu/~jkohl/index.html Note that my Doors of Life have been fixed. *****************************************************************