This Halloween you do the talking. Here are excerpts from the readership survey. You can read I have already taken Jeff Bird's comments into consideration. And he is not alone in this sentiment:
I enjoy some of jokeline, however it is frequently TOO DAMN LONG. The
editing department could maybe tighten up the qualitative controls, thus
effecting the quantity as well. I would be more likely to read something
half as long as the one i just got. Jeff Bird, Roseburg, Oregon
I always read the whole thing (that doesn't mean I always laugh). I often pass it along to several select friends (3 - 4, sometimes more). I look forward to it each and every week (if only because I know you're thinking of me and at least 300 of your closest friends). I would miss it if I didn't see it each and every Monday. Kevin Harmon, Indianapolis
I usually cut a few of the funny parts out and pass it along to anywhere between 3 and 15 people depending on the humor. Thomas Husted, San Diego
I have been receiving from your proxy server [Jokemaster's father] the estimable Jokeline. It is my understanding that "the guys upstairs" are surveying your readership. Let me just say this about that...I am enjoying your writing and editing and look forward to more...as, no doubt, do millions of other readers. If the "guys upstairs" don't appreciate you, why not send them to the following locale & have them pucker up to the posterior they will find: http://kairos.dsa.uqam.ca/ay/homepage Uncle Mike Klein [Editor's note: I have not pre-screened this link; enter up your own... risk] Massachusetts
I send your Jokeline out to about 6-8 people and they love to receive it. I imagine that you put a lot of work into it, even though you claim to fly through it in only a couple of hours on a Sunday morning. My vote, if I have one, is to continue, they are real funny and enjoyable to read. You may be able to accomplish the same thing and get the same desired effect by shortening them up some. In some cases, I run out of laughs and it still goes on. Dad, southern New Hampshire
I do read through most of the jokeline every week... But, I am not sure how SERIOUS you are about that survey. Emily Huang, Taipei, Taiwan
Yes we get your Email [read: Jokeline] and love it. Tomas Ghormley, San Jose, Costa Rica
Is it funny? Well, sometimes. Ok, I'll even give you "often". Jon Douglas, Boston
I regularly read almost all of what you send, so keep it coming. Tell the Pope hello for me. Quint Newcomer, Monteverde, Costa Rica
I rarely pass it on, mostly because I can't get people to work fast enough as it is and I don't want to tie them up. Also, the Company frowns on "inappropriate" uses of e-mail. Yvonne Novak, Stamford, Connecticut
How many people do you normally pass Jokeline onto each week?
5,376,987 (+/- 20 due to sampling error)....that or 2 on a really good week...:) Og, 2 rooms down
I noticed your call to all Jokemaster recipients and thought I would come out of the woodwork and confess... I just don't have time to read the whole thing!!! If you sent a cute, short little joke now and then, I'd be much more likely to open the document and read it. When I know it's going to take more than 5 mins. to read the whole thing, I skip to the next message. Such is the life of an overworked graduate student. Jen Silverman, University Minnesota
I look forward to Jokeline very much. And I do not consistently pass along Jokeline to my friends, but the Tashlich edition made it out to at least 5 people. Chris Page, Yale University, here
This [Jokeline 15] was so funny I had to get up and grab tissues so much I almost
couldn't read it. Marsha Sitnik, Washington, DC
Please, Please, Please do not discontinue jokeline...I have forwarded it to at least three of my friends and they all enjoy it...I look forward to seeing the latest edition every Monday morning and sometimes Sunday afternoon when I am working weekends...But seriously, to hell with the boys upstairs...I enjoy it very much. Tim Cronen, Washington, DC
Every Sunday, Hillary, Chelsea, and I sit down together like a good American family and we read Jokeline and have a great laugh. Keep it coming to the White House and I think you should do a Jokeline issue on Bob Dole before the elections. Now that would be more than moderately funny. President Bill Clinton, Washington, DC
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TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK-OR-TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX
10. You're guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, you can wait ten minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
6. It's okay when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone
else, because you ARE someone else.
5. 40 years from now, you'll still enjoy candy.
4. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door.
3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning.
AND the #1 reason...
1. You can do the whole neighborhood!!
Thank you, Miles V. Smith in San Francisco and Program Manager for Baru Adventures in Costa Rica. (this is an unsolicited commercial annoucement)
_____________________________________
Halloween Party
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. She got a
terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He,
being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was
going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his
good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away
he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain,
and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. Since her
husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have
some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not
with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on
the dance floor, dancing with everyone he could, copping a little feel
here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a
rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and
devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her
husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she
agreed, so off they went to one of the cars for a little workout. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away, and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the
guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"
Go Yvonne Novak for this one on Halloween week!
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For another week, how many of you are left handed?
Jokemaster
So now go out and Trick or treat, dupe or delight, cheat or charm, betray or pay, gull or gladden, cozen or compensate, outwit or requite, bamboozle or regale, ensnare (or entrap) or enchant, double-cross or double-cheer, kill yourself or read Jokeline!
PS: The Boys Upstairs have given Jokeline an extension.